A Suspicious Character

I was on Swedish soil for less than twenty minutes before I had my first clash with the law, a Customs officer to be precise. As I stood pleasantly and politely on the train taking us from Copenhagen Airport to Malmo, a border guard or should I say a Customs Officer questioned me. He was curious as to the contents of my luggage, my point of origin and reason for daring to enter sacred Swedish soil. After telling me that my papers were in order, like a good little bureaucrat he allowed me go along my merry way.

Had this been the only such incident to take place during my week away I may have forgotten about it. But alas it wasn't, for two days later as I stepped out of my apartment a stranger called out to me in English and then changed to Swedish. Noting that his words meant nothing to me he switched back to English and identified himself as a policeman and asked if I was aware of any drug dealing in the building in which I was staying, what apartment I was in, how long I was staying for and why I was here.
Hiding my frustration at this second round of questioning, I assured him that I was unaware of any such dealings and shocked to hear of such a thing. He bid a polite farewell and wish me a pleasant stay in Malmo.
Oh yes, he asked Tiiu if she was Irish, even before he asked me where I was from.
An Irish accent?
Tiiu?
I hardly think so.

And so onto the third, last and most annoying of these incidents
I popped into an off-lisence to buy a bottle of wine and was refuse permission to do so, as they "Had Reason to believe that I was buying drink for an underage person"
They meant Tiiu.
I appreciate that she is a very good looking woman and yes is younger than me, but she is twenty two, not twelve.
AAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHH
Bloody Bloody Fools.

In spite of my ranings, my week in Sweden was great fun and full of great people, except for three individuals who shall remain nameless.